One of the hidden dangers in being a parent is the silly songs. One, two, where's me shoe? Three, four, there on the floor! These tend to be infectious and lodge in your head. Which is a little frustrating as who makes up their own ear worms for fuck sake. Anyway, I was changing Roisin the other day and I was reminded that some friends of ours refer to the female genitalia as chuchi. This rhymes with cookie, so I inevitably started singing C is for chuchi, that's good enough for me... (and this, now that I think about it, isn't really appropriate, for cookies get eaten by the Cookie Monster, and while this might be some people's idea of a good time, it's not mine, nor should it be Roisin's). Anyway, to avoid the slightly smutty feeling I was experiencing, I switched to the original lyrics, but I wasn't able to leave well enough alone and changed to B is for bookie, and maybe gambling is better than junk food. But then there are twenty-four other letters in our alphabet, so what else can we do with this?

Aookie is silly, but Dookie is a humongous selling album which I have managed not to hear and there was a type of bird in The Wizard of ID called a Dookie Bird (or maybe it was a Dooky Bird) so D is indeed for Dookie. Eookie ... fookie (has potential, but no) ... gookie (some sort of Viet-cong slur perhaps? -- not convincing enough) ... hookie is a talk radio host here in Ireland allowing H for Hookie. Iookie ... jookie ... kookie: The Adams Fam-i-ly (see how easily one stupid earworm can lead to another?) ... lookie ... mookie ... nookie: English (kinda cutsie) slang for sex and a Limp Bizkit song to boot ... oookie: those Adams folk again ... pookie ... qookie ... rookie -- at last, a bona fide word ... sookie ... tookie ... uookie ... vookie ... wookie! Unfortunately, the multi syllabic double-you prevents this from scanning poperly, but we'll make do. xookie ... yookie ... zookie.

Hmm. Not as satisfying as I'd hoped. Bookie, Cookie, Dookie, Hookie, Kookie, Nookie, Rookie, Wookie. But at twenty seconds per verse this gives us two minutes and forty seconds of musical fun. Long enough to change a nappy. Cool. (My mind! What's happening to my mind!)

Things I recently learned from Paddy:

• When Spiderman makes a mistake he says Oopsie!
• When action figures take a hit they say Ooof!
• Spiderman is Peter Parker in a Halloween costume.

My camera's on off switch is bust. I wonder how much grief and money it is going to cost me to get it fixed. It's less than 12 months old so it should be under warranty, but jeebus, I can see the hassle now. Apparently the only recognised Nikon fixer-upper in Ireland is in Meath somewhere. This is going to be a nightmare, I can just tell. The biggest problem may just be stopping myself from buying a new camera just because I can almost justify it. I did get a bonus recently...